What’s in your cup?

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Beer pong players are resourceful. You wouldn’t think so by looking at a group of beer pong players at first glance, but when the idea of playing beer pong comes up, us degenerates turn into MacGyver. We can turn almost anything into a beer pong table. No cups or balls? No problem, we’ll figure something out.

But what about what we put into our cups? This is a trickier situation. I’ve never met a beer pong player who was extremely picky about what kind of beer they put in their cups. Obviously, light beer is preferred for most people. Coors Light, Bud Lite, Miller Lite, Natty Lite, Beast Lite, etc. For a lot of us, whichever is cheaper is the best beer to play with.

But playing with the wrong beer can sometimes become a disaster. Some beer is meant for drinking and enjoying, and some beer is made to be pounded in games of beer pong, flip cup, cards, or whatever crazy drinking game you’re playing.

I always think about playing beer pong with the wrong beer every year around St. Patrick’s Day.  A few years ago, I spent St. Patrick’s Day at a bar that had an awesome special: $20 all-you-can-drink Car Bombs and Guinness. That’s impossible to turn down, right? Maybe pre-gaming all morning wasn’t the best way to prepare for it.

As the day went on, someone had the amazing idea to fill the cups on the beer pong table at the bar with Car Bombs. Most of us kind of forget how we used to play “house party” beer pong, when you had to drink before you shoot and making or missing cups meant a lot more. Needless to say, I didn’t play that well and drank way too many Car Bombs. I went to Ireland later that summer and visited the Guinness factory, and the taste still kind of turned my stomach. Years later, I’m only now able to drink it again.

One summer, we ran out of beer and only had Yuengling in the fridge. For those of you on the West Coast, Yuengling is a little darker and heavier than your typical light beer. Before that night, Yuengling was my favorite beer. After a night playing beer pong with it, I could barely stand it.

One of my beer pong pet peeves is when people play with drinks other than beer in the cups. You’ve got girls pouring in Smirnoff, cranberry vodkas, etc. into the cups. Once those people leave the table and you get stuck drinking beer out of those cups, it’s disgusting.

What are some of the worst drinks you ever played “beer pong” with?










True Life: “I Play Competitive Beer Pong”

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Do you try and keep your “real life” separate from your “beer pong” life?

A lot of us try to separate our “beer pong lives” with our real lives. I’ve been asked by people not to use their real names in blogs and articles, because they didn’t want their employers or clients to Google their names and find some less than desirable videos or things written about them. I totally understand that. Some of the things done or said in the heat of the moment on the beer pong table are best not publicized.

For the most part, I’ve always been pretty open about my beer pong hobby. I’m not ashamed of it. I think it’s funny and interesting. The first time I told co-workers years ago that I had won a beer pong tournament I thought they would laugh or judge me. Instead, they seemed fascinated and wanted to come out and watch or play in the next one.

Or, if they kind of laughed at me, they saw the money I made in cash games the night before and suddenly my “hobby” became more credible. Back when I was a better player and played more, beer pong was more lucrative for me. Now, I settle for bar tabs for winning tournaments, but there are many of you that make a decent living solely off beer pong.

One of my favorite parts of being a part of the beer pong community is watching the expressions of casual spectators when they see it in person for the first time. When we’re in Las Vegas for the World Series of Beer Pong, people can spot us from a mile away. They assume we are just there to get drunk and rowdy. Have you ever been in the elevator on your way to the ballroom, and some old lady asks you about the beer pong tournament and the prize money? They kind of laugh at you until you tell them you’re playing for $50,000.

I love the reactions of people who walk into whichever bar or restaurant we’re holding our local tournaments at. At first, they wonder what the hell they got themselves into. But then they stick around after they eat or drink and seem genuinely captivated by what they are watching.

Once, during a league night, my partner and I were playing during a league night and saw a group of older women watching our game. We could tell they were interested, and after a few minutes they came up to us with a question about our game.

She asked us, “Do you have to eat the hard-boiled egg after you make it in the cup?”

This woman thought we were throwing hard-boiled eggs into cups of beer. I can’t make this stuff up.

Have you had any crazy reactions from people about your beer pong hobby?










Tell Your Story to BPONG!

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Are you tired of reading about the same old beer pong players all the time?

Would you like to be profiled on the BPONG.com website?

Are you a rookie training for the Masters of Beer Pong $100,000 Tournament or the World Series of Beer Pong that’s going to shock the world?

Do you have an amazing beer pong story you have to share?

Well, BPONG would love to tell your story!

If you’re interested, please comment below with your name and someone from BPONG will contact you shortly!

Happy Pongin’ this weekend!










Since U Been Gone

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Seeing your pong partner play with someone else is worse than your girlfriend cheating on you.

Isn’t it though?

On all levels of beer pong, it sucks when your partner leaves you for someone else. Sometimes, it’s a matter of being in the wrong place at the wrong time. In other cases, you’re getting dropped for a better player.

Remember that time you were running the beer pong table at some house party, left the table to go to the bathroom, came back and found your partner playing with someone else? Couldn’t they have just waited a few minutes? You’ve got to go scrambling to find someone to call next with. Or there’s some girl or guy begging to get on the table and your partner just can’t resist. But at the end of the day, it’s just a house party so it’s not the biggest deal in the world.

Losing a partner in the competitive beer pong world stings a little worse. It’s easy to simplify the simple game of beer pong and completely dismiss the idea of a serious partner, but make no mistake, the best beer pong partnerships are true relationships. Chances are that you aren’t going to win the Masters of Beer Pong tournament with some guy you picked up off the street. Well, unless your name is Ross Hampton.

In the course of a full year, you are probably spending as much time with your pong partner than your significant other. That’s kind of a scary thought. And beer pong relationships are significantly different than intimate ones. When you are playing for high stakes, with alcohol involved, things will get heated. You’re going to get slapped, spit on, punched, or all three in the course of one tournament (thanks Mantis). It’s just the way it is. But when the coin gets flipped for the next round, it’s all love again and you start fresh.

Sometimes, the most dysfunctional partners make the best teams. Look at Michael “Pop” Popielarski and Ron Hamilton. Their team, “Smashing Time,” won back-to-back WSOBP titles, took a break, and came back to make the final table at World Series of Beer Pong VIII a few years later. Lock them in a room together they are likely to kill each other.

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Like a bad relationship, you complain about your beer pong partner all the time, but when they finally leave you, you want them back. You forget about that time you misrepresented your shooting percentage while throwing them under the bus, or the time you passed off that last rebuttal because everyone was watching and you didn’t want to be the one that missed. Like looking for a new job, you start putting out applications before you give your two-weeks notice. No one has dropped a solid beer pong partner without having a back-up plan.

Eventually, the time comes when a partnership has reached its end. Sometimes it’s mutual, but in a lot of cases it’s not. Then what?

I’m sure everyone is different, but for me personally, I want to bury my ex-partner. You want to measure your success against his (or hers). You want to advance further than them, shoot better than them, and appear that you are having more fun than them. Yeah, you may be “happy” for them if they win the $100,000 prize, but would you really be? Maybe you’re a better man than me, but I don’t know if I really would be.

I’m going to make a broad generalization here, but competitive beer pong is a “catty” sport. Let’s face it, most of us who play seriously are guys. Most of us weren’t involved in the day-to-day high school drama most girls went through growing up. But the way some of us talk about our beer pong partners, you’d think we were women in a salon.

And we hate seeing our exes with someone new.










Become Beer Pong’s Joe Flacco

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Chances are, if you are alive and breathing right now, you probably watched a few minutes of this year’s Super Bowl. In case you missed it, the Baltimore Ravens beat the San Francisco 49ers, 34-31.

The MVP of the Super Bowl was none other than the embattled Ravens Quarterback Joe Flacco, one of the most polarizing sports figures in Baltimore history. Flacco had a record-tying postseason, throwing 11 touchdowns to zero interceptions, tying the great Joe Montana. Flacco followed up that performance this week by signing a $120.6 contract extension, the richest in NFL history.

Most people will say he doesn’t deserve it. They will look at his regular season stats and fantasy projections and dismiss him as average or above-average. He’s got a unibrow and is awkward and goofy on camera. He is usually quiet and reserved.

All he does is win games.

I’m about to take the “is beer pong a sport” to a whole new level. But at the end of the day, being a great quarterback is a lot like being a great beer pong player.

Bring up the topic of rankings and you will get a vicious debate no matter what the subject. What’s the best album? What’s the best movie? What’s the best food? Who’s the best quarterback? And my favorite: Who’s the best beer pong player?

Let’s take a look at some of the things that make a beer pong player (and quarterback) great:

 

  1. Talent

A pong player has to have some kind of talent. Some people are naturals and need little to no practice at all. Some need to work harder at it, but with a certain amount of practice can shoot just as consistently as others. In comparison, a quarterback in the NFL needs to have the ability as well. Quickness, arm strength, quick decision making, etc.

 

  1. Stats

Too many players are judged solely on stats. Sure, stats are important, but they aren’t the most important. On Day 3 of the World Series of Beer Pong, your 12 satellite victories don’t matter. In the NFL, your regular season passing records don’t matter. The most important stat is wins, not your shooting percentage.

 

  1. Chemistry

On the football field, the quarterback needs to have chemistry with his offensive teammates. The offensive line needs to be in sync, the receivers need to be on the same page, and the running back needs to get involved. Knowing where and when to throw the ball is the same as knowing when to take the third shot and who takes the rebuttal. A great player speaks up for the shot when he’s feeling it, and knows when to pass it off when he’s not.

 

  1. Focus

A great beer pong player can silence his opponent by staying focused on his shot. Trash talk and distractions rarely affect top players. In the NFL, a great quarterback drowns out the 12th man.

 

  1. Character

Great beer pong players and great quarterback have all the intangibles. The great ones know how to step it up for big shots and in big tournaments, just like a great quarterback knows how to win the game with two minutes left and the length of the field to drive. Great players feed off the intensity of the crowd and the magnitude of the game. Great players don’t throw their partners under the bus after poor shooting, or place the blame on the wide receiver that dropped the big pass.

 

Is there a magic formula that makes a great beer pong player? No. For now, the big money in beer pong comes from playing with someone else. No one is writing checks for $50,000 or $100,000 for singles players. You need a teammate and you need to play like a team. The two most talented players don’t win every time. Teams with character win championships and go far into tournaments. Beer pong is more than how many hundos you shot.

Has Joe Flacco ever played beer pong? I’m not sure, but I bet he’d be pretty damn good.










Beer Pong Brawl Leads to Pope’s Resignation

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The religious world was shocked weeks ago with the retirement announcement of Pope Benedict XVI. With Pope Benedict’s resignation effective as of last week, details are slowly emerging regarding his unlikely reasoning for stepping down.

Pope Benedict, the 265th pope, announced his retirement on February 11, 2013, ending his almost eight-year run as the leader of the Catholic Church. Born Joseph Aloisius Ratzinger in 1927, the 85-year-old cited a “lack of strength and body” for his decision to abdicate. Sources close to Pope Benedict, however, paint a different picture.

“Everyone thinks we are all so uptight and straight edge in the church,” said one cardinal, who requested to remain anonymous, “but we all have our things. The Pope’s is beer pong. He can’t get enough of it.”

According to the source, things became heated at a recent Vatican City charity tournament. Pope Benedict, known in religious circles for his fierce competitiveness, attacked his opponent after an incident in the loser’s bracket final tournament match. After hitting the final cup and repeatedly yelling “centum” (“hundo” in Latin) at his opponent, the retiring pope was pushed from behind by an unnamed bishop, causing a brawl and cancelling the remainder of the tournament.

“Pope Benedict is doing well and is currently enjoying his remaining years at the Mater Ecclesiae monastery,” said Vatican spokesman, the Rev. Federico Lombardi, declining to comment further.

One of the leading candidates to succeed Pope Benedict, Canadian Cardinal Marc Ouellet, described Pope Benedict as a heavy-drinker with a mean streak.

“When he first took over in 2005, everyone wanted to play with him. I mean, why not, he’s the fucking Pope!” said Ouellet. “But he was always so cocky, threatening to send people to hell if they beat him. It got old quick. Once he changed Pope John Paul II’s old house rules, people started counting down the days until he was out of here.

Pope Benedict XVI, who was reached while vacationing in his native Germany, seemed eager to move on.

“Good riddance, I couldn’t wait to get out of there,” Pope Benedict said. “There is some weird shit that goes on inside, you don’t even want to know.”

Despite being in the twilight years of his accomplished life, Pope Benedict shows no signs of slowing down.

“I’m thinking of flying out to Vegas for that $100,000 tournament this summer,” the pope said. “Do you have any idea how hard it is to get a cash game around here with this hat and robe on all time?”

Attempts to reach God for comment were unsuccessful, although he does answer in mysterious ways.










Nice Rack: Beer Pong’s Most Famous Boobs

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Once upon a time, many years ago, a beautiful young woman decided to pursue a modeling career. After all, you can only post so many Facebook, Instagram, or MySpace photos if you want to be taken seriously. Every model needs a real portfolio.

So this beautiful young model responded to some kind of ad and landed her first photo shoot. She was excited. This would be her stepping stone to Hollywood. Before long, she would be starring in blockbuster movies and gracing the covers of Victoria’s Secret and the Sports Illustrated Swimsuit Issue. Or at least, so she thought.

Instead, this beautiful young model became an internet sensation. She may have singlehandedly fueled the beer pong sensation which has culminated in the upcoming $100,000 Masters of Beer Pong™ tournament. And sadly, no one knows who she is.

Today, I wanted to salute this woman with no face. I wanted to salute the woman who brought us two of the most cliché beer pong team names of all time: “Nice Rack” and “Get Your Balls Wet,” and countless variations of the two. In honor of her, I would like to review her growing online portfolio.

 

For starters, let’s see where it all began:

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I think we can all agree with the slogan on her shirt. The “Get Your Balls Wet” is a classy touch, and you have to be impressed with the hindsight of whoever designed this poster. Beer pong racks wouldn’t become popular until years later.

 

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Luby’s could have done a much better job with our model’s work. While at least they had the decency to include the complete original design, this is one of the more terrible beer pong fliers you’ll see. But who doesn’t want to win house cash?

 

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I’ve had some fun times at McFadden’s in Philadelphia, but they lose points here for a lack of creativity. Not only do they cut off the bottom, but they replace the logos on the ball with their own. At least it’s a “real-life tourney,” as opposed to a fictional tourney, like “King of the Cups.”

 

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The fine folks at CV Sports Bar know what they are doing. A simple grasp of basic Photoshop skills allow them to remove all traces of the original work. In addition to making the flier look more original, the removal of the logo across the chest highlights our model’s nipples. Well done.

 

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Glo Bar didn’t even try here. Two DJs on a Tuesday night, but a terrible beer pong flier.

 

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When you think of America, you think of beer pong, boobs and beer. These kinds of things are universal. Judging by the web address, people in Bulgaria have the same interests. I don’t speak Bulgarian, but I’m assuming this says “Get Your Balls Wet.”

 

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Oh my, our model now has a black top. This is a good look for her, I think. Free beer for tournament players and ladies running the bar? Good job, bar One.

 

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Sink it – Drink it. That’s catchy. Someone should use that in a team name or something. There are a few things going on here. Apparently, our model now has exposure in China. So congrats to her for that. According to the flier, every Wednesday night is Men’s Night, but why is it 80 yen for guys and 60 yen for girls? Something doesn’t quite add up.

 

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Our Bulgarian friends are back. There’s more stuff on here I can’t read, but I’m guessing it says “Get Your Balls Wet” and “We Don’t Pull Out But Our Couches Do” or something like that.

 

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Jillian’s requires you to be 21 to enter this tournament, however a high school education is not necessary. The winner “recieves” a cash prize, which is way worse than receiving one. “I” before “E” except after “C,” come on.

 

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Stripper Bar can’t be bothered to create a higher quality image, but even low-resolution photos can’t keep our model from shining. Stripper Bar sounds like a solid venue for a tournament, too.

 

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I wonder who won this trip to Lake Tahoe. I’d love to go sometime. Also, the answer to the future trivia question of “When was ‘THE FIRST EVER’ Beer Pong Tournament?” is November 15, 2007.

 

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Our model is back in China, celebrating Halloween. I didn’t know they celebrated Halloween in China. The Snake Pit changed the logos on the balls, but our model would have looked pretty good with the bat symbol across her chest.

 

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You have to love txbpong.com, which no longer appears to be in business. By offering the same $20 per team cash prize to 1st, 2nd and 3rd place, it’s no wonder they went out of business.

 

Sure, our model may have lost that “Nice Rack” by now. And sure, we may never know who she is or what she looked like. But her boobs are sure to live on and inspire a new generation of beer pong players.

The End.










Beer pong, pool parties and $100,000? Yes please.

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I’ve been to Las Vegas almost a dozen times now. More than half of those times I’ve made that trek it has been to attend the World Series of Beer Pong. Don’t get me wrong, it’s always a great time. As the December days pass and New Year’s Day approaches, I get more and more excited for five days of heartache and punishing my body.

Las Vegas is, at least to me, starting to lose a little bit of its luster. This may be more common for West Coast players or those in or near Vegas, but unheard of for most East Coast residents. I usually look at the WSOBP as a business trip. I know I will have fun, but I also know it’s going to be all about beer pong, all of the time. I still have that mindset even though I know I have only the slightest chances of winning. For the elite guys who are expecting to legitimately win, it’s probably even worse. I used to tell my fellow players considering trips out there not to bring their girlfriends. There just isn’t much time to be a “tourist” in Vegas. If you still have energy at the end of Day 1, you’re doing it wrong. Or you’re just a lot younger than I am.

I’ve never been to Las Vegas in the summertime. I’m almost always there in the winter, or early in the spring. If I do manage to leave the casino and walk the strip, it’s usually cold as shit outside. I see the pictures of Las Vegas online with the pool bars and girls in bikinis, and I think to myself, why can’t they have the World Series of Beer Pong in July? Flights are cheaper, the weather is nicer, and a lot of us have vacation time to spare.

Well, BPONG did us one better with the first ever Masters of Beer Pong™ tournament. You can’t even be disappointed that they are not offering the same prize pool as the World Series of Beer Pong since they just went ahead and bumped it up to a cool $100,000. Not to mention, the whole thing is taking place at the Hard Rock Hotel and Casino. Not a bad way to spend the Fourth of July, huh?

Years back, there was a Summer Beer Pong Cup that was held in Negril, Jamaica for two glorious years. Due to a variety of reasons that I am not at liberty to discuss, the event was cancelled after its second year. I only went that second year, but it was some of the most fun I ever had playing beer pong, and the beer pong was the smallest part of what made it a great time. I was really hoping BPONG would do something like this somewhere down the line.

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While all the week’s events have yet to be announced, from the sounds of things it sounds like it’s going to be an awesome time. Since we all have to put up with guys like Ron Hamilton taking their shirts off, why not have it be poolside in Vegas? See you guys in July!

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