At some point, I’m sure someone has asked you, “If you could have dinner with any three people, alive or dead, whom would you choose?”
I hate that question. Usually it elicits the same canned responses from people. Maybe you’d choose Jesus, Susan B. Anthony, or Martin Luther King Jr. It’s a slick way for people to find out more about the things you value without asking questions that would be illegal to ask in job interviews.
Well, I’ve got a better question. If you could play the upcoming Masters of Beer Pong with any three people, alive or dead, whom would you choose and why? With at least $100,000 on the line, it’s a tough choice. You may want someone that you can get along with for a couple of days, someone talented, and someone able to perform under pressure. Or, you may just want to choose someone down to party nonstop for a couple of days in Vegas. Decisions, decisions.
Here are my three choices:
1. Robert Horry
Robert Horry played 16 seasons in the NBA and stands 6 feet, 10 inches. At 6’10” and no elbow rule, dropping a ping pong ball into a cup 8 feet away is hardly a difficult task. But why him? There are countless NBA players taller than him and more talented than him. I could have picked Michael Jordan or Lebron James or someone like that, but Robert Horry has something they don’t: Seven NBA rings, the most of any player in modern time. I admittedly don’t watch a lot of professional basketball, I root for Lebron and troll for him on Facebook, but that’s about it. But it seems like anytime I’ve watched the NBA finals, there was “Big Shot Rob” hitting a big shot when it mattered most. I can’t think of anyone else I’d want shooting a rebuttal shot in the finals.
2. Ray Lewis
My personal love of Baltimore sports aside, would there be anyone more intimidating to play against than Ray Lewis? He would make Ron Hamilton look like Ron Paul. He scared the shit out of NFL players for the better part of two decades so I’m confident he could get in the heads of some punk college kid beer pong players. I also couldn’t imagine a more supportive teammate. My play would be described by most as “inconsistent” so I’m confident RayRay would be able to pull me aside, whisper a prayer into my ear, do the squirrel dance and get me fired up. I mean, he won a Super Bowl with Trent Dilfer at quarterback. Oh yeah, he may have also killed a guy(s) once, so I may escape Vegas without getting slapped or spit on for once.
3. Tiger Woods
Tiger Woods is one of my favorite athletes of all time. I absolutely hate how the media built him up, only to tear him down, only to build him up again. He’s a tremendous competitor in every way imaginable. If the guy can sink 40 foot birdie putts with millions of dollars on the line, I’m certain he can shoot a ball from 8 feet away. But it’s not even about that, I just want to party with him in Vegas. Can you imagine a couple of days at the Hard Rock Hotel and Casino in Las Vegas? From that Swedish supermodel to the lovely Lindsey Vonn, Tiger Woods has the sexy blonde thing down pat. And he’s got about a billion dollars or so, so chances are good he’d buy a round or two.