Dominate Beer Pong with Halloween Boobs: The Art of Distraction

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Let’s learn something from bird flocks, sports teams, and street gangs: Uniformity means sticking together.
Additionally, you looking like a damn fool serves as a great distraction for your opposing beer pong team. Let us explain.

We all know the art of distraction within a high-pressure beer pong game is a team trait that could serve as the straw that breaks your opponents’ backs. The higher your beer pong level gets, the more complex your distraction tactics must be. Save the waving of the hands over cups while your opponents toss for the amateur basement parties.

Another component of beer pong, most sensible for higher level players, involves that of camaraderie. Feeling supported by your fellow players and having them feel supported by you is the basis of family, and family is what you should feel like to truly excel. We’ve seen it before. High-stake tournaments where skill levels are ridiculous, and one negative emotional rift between teammates gives the whole game to the opposing, positively encouraging team. Wah wah.

In our attempts to improve your beer pong game in every way, our researchers at BPONG.COM believe costumes take these concepts to the next level. Without having to say a word to your opponent, your silly and maybe-even-obnoxious costumes will speak volumes. Imagine this: your team is in The World Series of Beer Pong finals. The glittery Las Vegas energy is coursing through the veins of every WSOBP attendant while the tension rises rapidly. Either you or your opponents will be going home with $50,000. The other team got matching shirts made. Is that a team logo I see? That’s legit. Somewhat intimidating even. What did you do to keep up? Simple.

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Your girlfriends broke out their hot glue guns and you bought yards of felt and stuffing. After crafting the most beautifully symmetrical nipples as cherries on top, you are ready to go as the most infamous pair in history – boobs. Your eyes don’t leave your opponents’ tossing hands. You only smirk when you’ve made a shot. Your game is fierce, but your costume yells, WE ARE FUN AS HELL. The crowd giggles and cheers as you waddle around, making cup after cup, serving as an active thorn in the side of your opponents. Every shot you make hits them a little harder, because, after all, they’re getting whooped by a pair of titties, for lack of a better word. There is no better word.

What better time to start considering costumes than Halloween time? The World Series of Beer Pong is two months away, and as you know, Halloween is this week. Savvy BPONGers: Choose your Halloween costume wisely so it can double as your game-changing World Series of Beer Pong distraction tool. Chicks love savvy dudes.

 

 

Beer Pong for Newbies

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Beer Pong is considered a drinking game that’s mostly popular on college campuses. The game’s played with cups and balls. The cups are half filled with beer and are arranged in a triangle shape starting with 3 cups at the farthest edge of the table, descending to the one cup ascending closer to the center of the table. It’s usually played 1 on 1, 2 on 2, or sometimes even 3 on 3. There’s usually a small ritual to determine which team will go first, such as rock paper scissors, a coin flip, etc.

The object of the game is for one person to throw two of their balls into a cup at the other end of the table. If the balls go into the cups of the opposite team, the cup is removed from the game, often with the team drinking the beer in the cups. The balls are thrown until there is a miss of both balls, then it’s the other team’s turn. Most people have a bucket to clean splashes off the table and to keep the cups drinkable.

There are different ways the game can be played. The balls can be bounced into the cups, the balls can bounce once inside the cups, or the balls cannot bounce once inside the cups. Creativity and imagination have possibly spawned other derivations of how the game can be played.

Sometimes the teams are allowed to reshape the cups to make them easier to throw the balls into.

2 Major Rules to Live By in BPONG:

  • “Sink cups”. No matter what version of the game you play, you’ll almost never win unless you know how to put balls into cups with precision. Again and again and again.”
  • Don’t let your parents win often. You spent their hard earned money to attend college and get good at this game. Maybe let Grandma win every so often so she thinks she still has it, but don’t make your parents start to doubt that they spent good money only to produce a subpar pong player.”

The game stands to get more complicated, and just as in playing games of cards, there are different names for the different challenges the game offers. There are names for the shots that it is possible to make with the balls. These names coincide with which game of the many in beer pong is being played.

Five All-Time Awesome Beer Pong Tricks

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Many moves in beer pong can be described as “tricks”, such as the twirling 360 and the acrobatic Under the Leg, as well as the lazy blindfold. (“Look, Ma! No Eyes!”) But the finest beer pong tricks take more imagination. The best beer pong performances involve props–other objects other than ball and cup, intermediaries, if you will, in the communion between player and cup. In no particular order, here are the five best beer pong tricks:

Number 5: The Skipping Rock: Place at least two small tables between you and the cup. Gently toss the ball in a soft overhand arc, and watch the happy bouncing and sinking. Drink.

Number 4: The Tiger Woods: This is a variation on the Skipping Rock, except using a golf club. Use irons or wedges for maximum loft. Tee optional. Drink.

Number 3: The William Tell: Place a clipboard or similar object at a 45-degree angle on a chair. Stand ten feet across the room from the chair and place the cup on top of your head. Close your eyes and toss the ball with a zippy overhand arc. Wait for the ball to land in the cup. Drink.

Number 2: The Happy Camper: Find a triple-decker bunk bed. If you don’t have one in your dormitory, dive in the largest dumpsters in your neighborhood. Place the cup at one end of the lowest bunk, making sure that that the end of the bunk is flush with a wall. Stand at the other end of the bunk and energetically bounce the ball on the middle bunk and the bottom of the top bunk until it hits the wall and lands in the cup. Drink.

Number 1: The Traveling Punk: Place the cup on a skateboard. Place the skateboard at one end of a gauntlet of three clipboards or similar flat objects arranged on chairs. Gently push the skateboard so it sails down the middle of the gauntlet. Bounce the ball hard off the nearest clipboard at an angle so it hits the next clipboard and the next, bouncing off all three on its way to meeting the cup at the gauntlet’s end. Drink.

Budweiser Unveils “Buddy Cup,” Stalkers Rejoice

Technology has changed the way we play beer pong. From new equipment to high-stakes games via Skype, beer pong is alive and well in the virtual world.

Budweiser is now taking beer drinking a step further.

The self-proclaimed King of Beers recently announced “The Buddy Cup,” a state-of-the-art drinking glass which can connect fellow drinkers to each other on Facebook, with a simple clink of a glass.

Feel like creeping on that cute girl at the beer pong tournament? Clink her glass. You want to remind that guy you just met he owes you $20 for a cash game? Clink his glass. Forget your iPhone to add someone on Facebook? Clink their glass. The Buddy Cup will revolutionize the way we interact, and stalk, our fellow beer pong players. The possibilities are endless.

The cups are currently being unveiled in Brazil, and there is no word on if and when these new Buddy Cups will appear in the U.S. I, for one, will be patiently waiting.

Guys, what do you think about this? Girls, how about you?

Check out the article here or watch the video below.










Is Beer Pong a Dirty Sport?

This just in: According to a recent article by the Associated Press, dirty beer pong balls may transfer harmful bacteria.

Duh. In other news, the sky is blue and water is wet.

The article is based on a study by a group of ClemsonUniversity students, majoring in Pointless Studies, who found bacteria such as salmonella, listeria, e. Coli and staph on balls being used in beer pong games around campus. According to the report, the students found more than 3 million tiny bacteria on balls being used outdoors, compared to 200 indoors. Unbelievably, when these balls were transferred to the cups of beers, the bacteria was transmitted as well.

You don’t say.

Obviously, ClemsonUniversity students need to do a better job of washing their hands. And really, folks, that goes for everyone reading this. When did washing our hands become such a task? You go to the bathroom, you do your business, and you wash your hands. It takes 10 seconds. I can’t even count how many times people go to the bathroom during the World Series of Beer Pong and don’t wash their hands, and then go right out and play a game. Do you want someone’s pissy hands in the precious few cups of beer you get to drink each game? I don’t. Occasionally, you may see someone do a “guilt rinse” under the sink, just because he sees you standing there, but those times are few and far between.

The Pong Flu is not a myth, guys. It is a cruel, incurable disease which afflicts hundreds of us each January. We must do more to protect ourselves, and that includes washing our hands.

Excluding the World Series of Beer Pong, though, I can’t remember the last time I regularly played with beer in my cups. Taking that into consideration, this study doesn’t really mean anything to me.

Even our own Billy Gaines, the Godfather of Beer Pong himself, was quoted in the article.

“‘Maybe there is something there [regarding the Pong Flu],’ Gains [sic] said. ‘But I think it is nothing to do with being sick. I think they are partying all night and get worn down.’”

Amen, brother. But at the same time, everyone should do each other a solid and wash their hands.

If washing your hands is too much to ask, you can always just head over to the BPONG store and buy some new balls.

If you want to check out the original article, click here: http://www.nydailynews.com/life-style/health/beer-pong-games-carry-risk-salmonella-e-coli-germs-article-1.1317048#ixzz2QjBRe1Ku










Beer Pong Hits the Arcade

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When I was a kid, my arcade days were spent playing Street Fighter II, NBA Jam and Cruis’n USA. I was also pretty good at Hoop Shot, despite my non-existent basketball skills. I grew up playing old school and Super Nintendo. By the time Nintendo 64 came out, I was pretty much past the video game stage of my life.

My old roommate had a Nintendo Wii, so when “Game Party” came out a few years ago, I had to buy it. Why would I buy a video game for a system I didn’t even own? Beer pong, of course. There was a part of this game that allowed you to play a version of video game beer pong. It was terribly done and not very fun at all, much to my disappointment.

Despite this, I could barely contain my excitement the other day when I learned about a new beer pong video game, “Beer Pong Master,” maybe one of the most revolutionary games ever created.

The game seems to work like any standard arcade game. You insert your money and try to get the highest score. Games feature 1-4 players, and you’ve got 60 seconds to hit all 10 cups. Cups on the screen will dim as they are hit, and with no re-racks, it will take some skill to hit all 10 in under a minute. There also appears to be some kind of tape line. Obviously, there isn’t any beer in the cups, but it still sounds pretty awesome.

A few of these have been spotted in Las Vegas already. Have you seen any in your area? Is this something you’d like to play?

Check out the full article here:

http://foodbeast.com/content/2013/03/27/beer-pong-arcade-machine/











Massachusetts State Rep. Daniel Winslow: Beer Pong Man of the Year?

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(photo courtesy of the Medfield Press)

Vote Republican!

Before you get too defensive, hear me out. No, I’m not one of those idiot Facebook politicians who are bashing Obama, chiming in on gun reform or healthcare, or pushing some other stupid agenda. Yes, this goes for the Liberals too. But I came across an excellent story recently that makes me wish I lived in Massachusetts.

We always hear about how terrible beer pong is for today’s youth. It leads to binge drinking from underage college students, drunk driving, violence, gambling, etc. In fact, in most bars across the country laws regulate that cups be filled with water, not beer. Such a terrible game, that beer pong, right?

Wrong. Enter Massachusetts State Rep. Daniel Winslow. Not sure how this news escaped me, but less than two years ago Winslow held a beer pong(!!!!!!) political (!!!) networking (!!!!) fundraiser (!!!!!!)! Check out the link to the Facebook event here: http://www.facebook.com/events/159330014148290/

Daniel Winslow, not that any of you degenerates in Massachusetts are registered to vote, is one of three Republicans running in the 2013 Massachusetts special election for U.S. Senate. What does that mean? I’m not totally sure, but I mean, the guy did hold a beer pong fundraiser. I’m amazed. If you live in Massachusetts and don’t vote for the guy, you’re doing the beer pong community a great disservice.

No word as to who won the event, but check this article out for a brief recap: http://www.motherjones.com/mojo/2013/02/dan-winslow-massachusetts-senate-beer-pong

The best thing about Daniel Winslow? He doesn’t give a shit about the elbow rule.

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