SCHNECKSVILLE , PA — Just as President Obama’s approval rating dipped below 50 percent for the first time last week, the president added more drama to his already controversial administration.
Speaking to a crowd of faculty, students and business leaders at Lehigh Carbon Community College near Allentown, the president’s speech was expected to center around a struggling economy and the national unemployment rate. After taking a series of questions from the crowd, the discussion quickly became heated when Obama turned his attention to sports.
After providing his opinion on the potential legislation as well as the safety precautions that professional sports leagues are taking in dealing with the alarming trend of head injuries, Obama was seemingly caught off-guard when one college student asked if the federal government had any plans to get involved with one of the nation’s fastest-growing sports, beer pong.
“As I said throughout my campaign, we need to do a lot more in terms of fostering tolerance and acceptance of diversity,” Obama answered. “But let’s face it, elbow rule is for pussies.”
Obama, who was clearly embarrassed by his choice of language, immediately tried to steer the topic in the right direction. He scoffed at the notion that taller players had an unfair advantage on the beer pong table.
“Everyone seems so quick to say they are at an unfair advantage,” he said. “Shut up and make a fucking cup already. There are no bailouts on the beer pong table.”
While the crowd seemed stunned at the president’s use of obscenities, the subdued college students became far more animated. Although every student was pleased to turn their attention to beer pong, thoughts on the elbow rule were divided.
John Crosby, a senior political science major, applauded Obama’s candor, although he doesn’t quite agree.
“I mean, I think it’s pretty cool that the president smokes cigarettes and plays beer pong and all,” he said, “but if he tried that gay Harvard leaning shit at one of my house parties I would kick his Ivy League ass out.”
One Obama supporter, a freshman biology major who hopes to transfer to Penn State in the Spring, says she is glad she voted for Obama.
“It was my first time voting, and like, I wasn’t really sure who to vote for,” said 18-year-old Cindy Stevens. “I mean, I think that Sarah Palin seemed pretty qualified and wore cute outfits, but it seemed like more people liked Barack Obama and like, it’s hard to argue. I am definitely going to vote for him again next year.”
With a controversial plan to reform health care and a newly announced policy on sending troops to Afghanistan, Obama is certainly no stranger to heated debate. The elbow rule is either beloved or hated in beer pong circles, depending on who you ask.
The World Series of Beer Pong, which is held every year in Las Vegas, does not adhere to any kind of elbow rule. Players are allowed to lean as far as they can across the table to aid in shooting. On the BPONG.COM™ internet forums, the topic of elbow rule is regularly debated. Two prominent competitive beer pong players, who refer to themselves as GanjaFarmer and PongStars, respectively, recently posted their opinions online.
“If you lean, you are terrible,” wrote PongStars, whose impressive beer pong resume consists of one 0-2 performance in tournament play.
“lean = pussies,” wrote WSOBP V entrant GanjaFarmer in between games of Modern Warfare 2 and online job searches. “you will see one day, once pong gets big enough, tall people with long reaches will take over pong. and all u short mother uckers out there will be pissed off. and you will be like, damn we should of listen to ganja farmer.”
Still, most players are in agreement with President Obama. Ben “Skinny” Solnik, one of the founders of the World Series of Beer Pong, is pleased with the president’s remarks.
“It’s refreshing to see our nation’s leader finally take a strong stance against the injustice of the elbow rule,” Solnik said. “We at BPONG support the president’s position, and believe that the world would be a better place if people just stopped being pussies.”
